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Choices - Spa Queen Unleashed Podcast 2

CHOICES | Spa Queen Unleashed Podcast

Mary Wilson, Owner at Spa Royale

Mary Wilson, Owner at Spa Royale

Full Transcript:

Hello and welcome everybody. Here we are for the eighth episode of a Spa Queen Unleashed produced by Fiesta Media Studios. And I also want to give a shout-out to my sponsor, Spa Royale Day Spa. Thank you so much for joining us today. Today, I have a special guest here with me. I have Eugene with me, and you guys are going to get to know him today. Our topic for this Wednesday Wellness is going to be choices because life is all about choices. And the reason I wanted to bring Eugene on with me today is because I have watched him do this incredible transformation. It is incredible, you guys. I mean, everything that I talk about and everything that sets my heart on fire and that I preach to you guys on all of these podcasts, he’s living it. And I just wanted to bring him on to share with you guys the power of the mindset and the power of making those daily choices that provide us with a life that we all want to live. So who are you?

 

Tyrone Eugene Davis:

Good question. Well, I just have to thank you for even having me. I was so honored. When I got the message, I was just like, “Yeah.” So I’m really, really excited to be here, but to answer your question, who am I, I’m originally from Dunnellon, Florida. So I’m country-

Mary Wilson, Owner at Spa Royale:

Ah, okay. Local. That’s right.

Tyrone Eugene Davis:

Yep. Very country. My high school was in the middle of a cow field.

Mary Wilson, Owner at Spa Royale:

I love him. He’s so real, you guys. This is what I love. This is what I’m attracted to.

Tyrone Eugene Davis:

It’s like, “Grab your math book, and let’s go milk these cows.”

Mary Wilson, Owner at Spa Royale:

Yes. Yes. I’m down with that.

Tyrone Eugene Davis:

But yeah, I grew up in Dunnellon, Florida. I moved to Gainesville probably when I was 19 years old. I lived with my grandmother for a while, did a various things. I went into clerical work. I worked for the state, but around 2009, I got into the beauty industry, licensed cosmetologist, and I worked that for probably over 10 years. Lived probably in Miami for about two to three years, came back here in 2018, worked for the state and did a number of things, and now I’m here.

Mary Wilson, Owner at Spa Royale:

That’s awesome. That is so awesome. So let me ask you this because I know that I met you and you were a hairstylist at the time. And let me just tell you all, he can blow some hair, blow-dry some hair. It is amazing. Yes. That is for sure. So you made a huge career change though.

Tyrone Eugene Davis:

Yes.

Mary Wilson, Owner at Spa Royale:

Tell me about that.

Tyrone Eugene Davis:

I made a huge career change because really throughout my whole career, whether it was office work and the beauty industry, I just never was truly fulfilled. I was always in a place where I just looked good on the outside. I was always able to tell a good joke, or I was always able to put on some good clothes and just kind of look good. And I just really got to my breaking point where I just wanted to really be who I was, pursue the things I want to pursue without any questions, judgment.

Mary Wilson, Owner at Spa Royale:

So how does that feel for you knowing that you were living this life and you were doing what you were supposed to be doing? Right? Because I think that a lot of us do that. We are living our life how we are supposed to, and what I mean by that is that we’re born, we’re raised by our caregivers, and that can look in so many different ways for everybody, but we are told the story of what we are supposed to do. You’re supposed to go to school. You’re supposed to get married. You’re supposed to have children. And then what happens when you’re doing the things that you are supposed to do, not really what setting your soul on fire? So how does that… Now that you were aware enough, you had this awakening and you’ve become so aware that, “You know what? I’m not being Eugene. I’m not being 100% me.” So how did you go about that, and how do you feel now living your true, authentic self?

Tyrone Eugene Davis:

I think it really started with me losing weight since I’ve always been heavy as a child and I’ve always had a strong desire to be more healthy. I’m not going to lie. I’ve wanted to have a really banging body, and I’ve always had that desire and it really started from there. Once I started working out, the meditation came. Once I started meditating, the prayer came. Once I started doing that, my affirmations came. And then I really just took the time to break myself down to nothing and rebuild myself.

Mary Wilson, Owner at Spa Royale:

Rebuild and rewrite your story, huh? Well, you’ve done an incredible job. I’m so impressed by you, and I told you that earlier. I have watched him transform himself, and it is just such a beautiful thing and it just… I’m so proud of the work that you’ve done, because I know that it’s not easy. It’s hard work, but it’s a daily choice. Right? So how do you make those choices on a daily basis even when you don’t want to?

Tyrone Eugene Davis:

My biggest motivator daily, I constantly remember where I came from. I constantly remember the dark places I was in. I constantly remember the things that I had to battle, and I just do not want to go back there. I want to stay as far away from there as possible. So just like this week, and I’ll be very honest, some days I feel like getting up and working out really hard, two hours, but some days I don’t. But even on those days, I’m saying to myself, “Well, let’s go on a two-mile walk. Let’s just go walk outside.”

Mary Wilson, Owner at Spa Royale:

So you just pivot a little bit, and you still get it done. It just might be a little different than what… But you don’t stop.

Tyrone Eugene Davis:

Right. And it’s okay. I think a lot of times we get so caught up in, “I have to do this way. It has to be done this way,” and it really doesn’t-

Mary Wilson, Owner at Spa Royale:

And you give yourself no flexibility. Yeah. And I think that that’s a problem for most of us. We want things perfect, but when we break free and we realize that there is no such thing as perfection. Perfection is what keeps you from getting started in so many things. Oh, the perfect time, the perfect moment, the perfect this, or “When I do this, I’ll do this,” or “When I do this…” The perfect time is now. Right? Right now. Right now, we have the ability and the choice to decide for ourselves, “I’m not going to do this anymore, and this is what I’m going to do.” This morning when I was out there doing my exercise because I love to start my mornings, I’ve told you guys, with my exercise and my incense, my reading, my animals, I set myself up for success. Right? Well, there were two days this week where I had to do it in the evening, and I know better than this because my life is so crazy and I’m so busy that I mean, I’m… Yeah. There’s always something going on in my life. Right?

Mary Wilson, Owner at Spa Royale:

And it was like, I was a zombie out there, but I was like, “I have to do this.” Right? So sometimes, we don’t feel like doing what we need to do. So you have to… Instead of depending on motivation, it becomes more of discipline and knowing that you’re doing it for your higher self. Right? And that what we do, what we start today is a compounding interest and investment into our future. So I think that, yeah, just being mindful and being aware of what you’re telling yourself because I think that a lot of us tell ourselves stories. Right?

Tyrone Eugene Davis:

Lies.

Mary Wilson, Owner at Spa Royale:

Lies.

Tyrone Eugene Davis:

Lies.

Mary Wilson, Owner at Spa Royale:

Yeah. We lie to ourselves. “Oh, it’s okay if you don’t do that. It’s okay if you… It’s okay.” What is this voice? Where is this voice come from?

Tyrone Eugene Davis:

Right. And it’s like, I think that’s what you have to really pay attention to. What are you telling yourself when you’re not around anyone? What are the conversations that you’re having when you’re riding in your car? What are the conversations that you’re having while you’re sitting at your desk? You really have to pay attention to that voice. And I talked to myself. I could be riding in my car and I could have a bad thought, and I’m like, “Oh, wait a minute.” I’ve said, “That’s crap. That’s crap talk. Get that out of there. Turn on the radio.” You know what I mean? Get far away from that. And it’s funny because it really is a constant every minute of the day.

Mary Wilson, Owner at Spa Royale:

You guys have heard me say this before. I mean, and Andy Frisella teaches us, it’s winning the war against yourself. We are in a war with ourselves. Right? But when you are able to awaken and understand that you have the power with choice to rewrite those stories and to start talking to yourself in a totally different way, because I think that a lot of us are really critical of ourselves. Right?

Tyrone Eugene Davis:

Too hard.

Mary Wilson, Owner at Spa Royale:

When you quiet that mind and quiet yourself and you think about, what is it that I’m really saying to myself? I caught myself. I told you all, this inner voice of mine, I have to keep her in check because she can be really, really mean, and I have to let her know that this is not okay because it just breaks you down. So we are our own worst critics, and changing that mindset is where it’s at. It’s not easy work, but it is so doable. Right?

Tyrone Eugene Davis:

Oh, yeah. Most definitely.

Mary Wilson, Owner at Spa Royale:

And it’s just practice and choice every single day, choosing.

Tyrone Eugene Davis:

And the more you do it, the more you talk positive on yourself. I mean, when I say break myself down, when I wake up in the morning, I have my affirmations on my mirror. You know what I mean? I have a wall in my room that I could see my goals, my desires. So literally, you have to take yourself through this every moment of your life, if you’re really trying to pursue or even really trying to get to your best self.

Mary Wilson, Owner at Spa Royale:

To who you are.

Tyrone Eugene Davis:

Correct. Exactly. Exactly.

Mary Wilson, Owner at Spa Royale:

No. It’s so true. And I think that for most of us, making the easy choices is what gets us in the predicaments that we are in. Right? For instance, you talked about your weight. Well, my weight’s been an issue for me for quite a while, and it never started until my adulthood, where now I realized that food was like a comfort for me. That was my choice of drug. Right?

Tyrone Eugene Davis:

Yes.

Mary Wilson, Owner at Spa Royale:

I don’t need heroin. I don’t need cocaine. I don’t need any of this, but give me some food. Give me some chips, give me some cookies, give me some cake, give me some ice cream. Right?

Tyrone Eugene Davis:

Yep. Trust me, I know.

Mary Wilson, Owner at Spa Royale:

Yeah. But we’re not crazy for that, Eugene. We’re not crazy for that because it literally has been shown in studies that sugar is more addictive than cocaine.

Tyrone Eugene Davis:

Oh yeah. Most definitely.

Mary Wilson, Owner at Spa Royale:

So it does something to our brains. You feel good when you’re eating it and then you crash, and then you don’t feel so good. And what I’ve learned is that now when I’m having a moment or I’m anxious or I’m bored or I’m just like, it’s mindless eating and I’ve gotten really, really mindful and really, really aware, and it’s like, I ask myself, “Do you really want that?” And most of the time, no, I don’t. I’m just doing it out of habit or-

Tyrone Eugene Davis:

Because we’re so used to it. And then I think I know with me, especially coming from African-American culture, food is big.

Mary Wilson, Owner at Spa Royale:

What do you think of the Spanish culture is?

Tyrone Eugene Davis:

Same.

Mary Wilson, Owner at Spa Royale:

“You want to eat? You want to eat? No. Here, here, here. Eat anyway.”

Tyrone Eugene Davis:

Yep. You’re happy, eat. If somebody died, eat. We’ve been programmed that way since-

Mary Wilson, Owner at Spa Royale:

To celebrate with food.

Tyrone Eugene Davis:

Yeah. And everything with food. So it’s like, for example, I’m 35 years old. So it’s like in the last, what, maybe a year and a half, I’m breaking 35 years of that habit, and that takes time.

Mary Wilson, Owner at Spa Royale:

Exactly, time. It’s time, and that’s the thing. I think as humans in today’s world, we want everything now. You want your food, you want it now. You want to be a success in your business, you’ve opened today and you want it tomorrow. It’s just not how life works. Everything is time, and that’s the thing that we need to remind ourselves is that everything takes time. And yeah, we’re undoing years and years and years of bad habits. So you have to be patient and you have to have grace and you have to understand too. For me, if I tell myself, if I take everything away from myself, that’s not going to work for Mary. That ain’t going to work for Spa Queen.

Tyrone Eugene Davis:

That’s the worst thing ever.

Mary Wilson, Owner at Spa Royale:

Because there’s going to come a moment where I’m going to be like, “You know what? Screw all that. Give me everything. I want it all.” So I know that for me, everything in moderation is the way I have to go. I have to drink so much more water, and it keeps me full. I think about all these miles that I’m logging, all these steps that I’m taking. And because of that, I don’t want to undo it. So it kind of makes me want to do better and make better choices. I mean, it’s… And then again, it’s all about choices. Everything that we do in this life is about choices. Is it not?

Tyrone Eugene Davis:

Right. Totally.

Mary Wilson, Owner at Spa Royale:

So we have the choice to be happy or sad. We have the choice to be mad or joyful. I mean, the choices are endless. Right? That’s what our lives are all about, is choices. And so how do you… So what are some of the biggest things that you have done to help you stay the course and not get… Because I know that when we’re on a journey of awakening and healing, it’s a journey. It’s not a destination. It’s a lifelong process. So how do you stay the course and not slip back into just, “Oh, whatever. This is never going to happen for me.”? Because I think that, for me, that was a lot too, because yeah, we’re undoing 40, I don’t know, some years. Not 40 years for me. I mean, I’m 48, but I don’t know. However many decades, I don’t know, 20 years of bad choices, right? And you’re undoing it. So this weight didn’t come on overnight. Right? So it takes time. But how do you stay the course, and what does Eugene tell himself when you’re having one of those days where you’re just like, “I still can’t fit into this” or “I still can’t do this” or “I still can’t…”?

Tyrone Eugene Davis:

With me, being that I come from such a self-critical place, that I’ve always talked so bad about myself, now I celebrate. So on the days that I’m like, “You know what? I don’t really feel like going to the gym today. I’m just going to walk around my complex today.”

Mary Wilson, Owner at Spa Royale:

I saw that you did that the other day.

Tyrone Eugene Davis:

Correct. Yeah.

Mary Wilson, Owner at Spa Royale:

Yeah. Walking is fabulous for all of us.

Tyrone Eugene Davis:

Exactly. And I always just keep in mind, and I said it before, I just keep in mind where I’ve come from. I keep in mind that a year ago, I was 300 pounds. You know what I mean?

Mary Wilson, Owner at Spa Royale:

Wow. How much have you lost?

Tyrone Eugene Davis:

Over 70 pounds. I’m 228 today. I was 296, July 4th last year.

Mary Wilson, Owner at Spa Royale:

Wow. That’s huge. That is amazing. That is awesome. So that’s a whole another human.

Tyrone Eugene Davis:

Right, right, right.

Mary Wilson, Owner at Spa Royale:

That’s huge. And I mean, one pound, when I lose one pound, I get mad sometimes. I’m not going to lie. I’m going to be honest here. I’m like, “Really? I worked all that and it’s only one pound?” And then of course, hormonal and all this other stuff and blah, blah, blah. Well, because people think that owning a day spa, I have no stress, right? I’m always in relaxation mode. Lie. That’s a lie. I’m here to tell you that’s not true. But yeah. I mean, it’s just… You think about the health benefit. I read something the other day that a friend of mine posted on Facebook and she was talking about how one pound of fat, how your body has to create all these new blood vessels and all this stuff to work and dah, dah, dah, dah, dah. And so when you lose one pound, that your body reverses all of this, but it’s just crazy how even one pound has such an effect on your entire system. So imagine 70 pounds.

Tyrone Eugene Davis:

Oh yeah. And it was not easy, but I think my biggest thing that I want people to know, it’s so doable. When I first started working out, I could probably barely run 10 steps. So I was like, “Okay. Well, I’m going to walk.” And for probably two to three months, I walked. And then I could start to run part of the track, and then walk. You know what I mean? So I think it’s just so important just to be easy on ourselves. Let’s stop beating ourselves up. We’re such filled with love. Let’s just celebrate. If you got out there and you worked out for five minutes and that’s five minutes that you worked out, that you didn’t do. I just think we just have to take this hard things that we put on ourselves, the way we have to shape ourselves, and just be free, have some fun and pursue happiness. And it could be any way you want it. There’s no rules. Stop looking at this person. Just be with yourself and do it the way you need to do it.

Mary Wilson, Owner at Spa Royale:

I absolutely love that because I think too often in life, we compare ourselves. We compare ourselves to other people. And listen, you are unique. We all have this thing called DNA. Right? Not another you exists. Not another me exist. So where are these rule, and who created these rules? And who is giving us these stories that we have? I mean, we are not born thinking that way. We’re conditioned and it’s ingrained in us. And so I think that our generation has a lot of reparenting and rewriting stories, and we have a lot of work to do on ourselves to break those cycles because it’s not about being mad at your parents or your grandparents or whoever it was that raised you. They were doing the best they could with what they knew at the time. Right? So just because things were the way they were, it doesn’t mean that they need to continue being the way they were now. At any time, you are able to rewrite your story and make it the way you want. Right? So let me ask you this. How has your life changed since you have become 100% Eugene Tyrone Davis, the second?

Tyrone Eugene Davis:

Right. It’s changed dramatically. To be quite honest. I never saw my person into fitness. I never saw myself into taking supplements on a daily basis. I never saw myself meditating, and I have to be this honest. I never saw myself having this close of a relationship with God, and it has changed dramatically. I mean, I just meet people now that are drawn to me. My life looks nothing like how I thought it would look, and I know this is nothing but God. I mean, God can just change your whole life around, make something brand new. And to be honest, I owe it to nothing but him. I’m so humbled. I’m so fortunate that he would even love me enough to let me see this, that he would let me be in this dark place, then bring me to this bright place, and I’m like, “Wow.” You know what I mean?

Mary Wilson, Owner at Spa Royale:

Oh, you were open to receive it too.

Tyrone Eugene Davis:

Oh, most definitely, most definitely, most definitely.

Mary Wilson, Owner at Spa Royale:

So would you say that you are so much happier than you were in the past?

Tyrone Eugene Davis:

Yep.

Mary Wilson, Owner at Spa Royale:

And why do you think that?

Tyrone Eugene Davis:

Because I know this is me. This is the first time in my life that I said, “No. I want to work this job. I want to do this this way. I want to live here this way. I want to do this. I want to show up in these places.” I’m literally saying, “This is how I want to live my life.” You know what I mean? I’m not letting mom, dad, sister, anybody say, “This is what we want you to do.” No. This is what Eugene wants to do, and if you can’t get onboard, then, I mean, there’s a bus stop somewhere. Greyhound runs everywhere. Get on that bus. You don’t have to ride mine. Get on another one. You know what I mean?

Mary Wilson, Owner at Spa Royale:

And no, it’s so true, and that’s just such a powerful place to be, to be able to be living your life unapologetically you. It’s just such a beautiful gift, and it’s a gift. It’s the only gift that we can truly give ourselves. Nobody else can gift you that. Nobody can gift you the opportunity to be you. You’re the only one that can do that, and we’ve talked about that. So I think that making choices, making daily choices, what would be your top three tips on making daily choices? What you keep in the forefront of your mind when you decide what it is that you’re going to do for whatever it is that you want to do that day or whatever the goal that you’re trying to attain? What are the top three things that Eugene thinks about every single day that keeps you making the right choices?

Tyrone Eugene Davis:

I always pay attention to my true desire. I’m really in tune to what I really want and how I want my life to really look. That’s one of my… That’s probably 50% of my motivation. And like I said before, I always remember where I came from. That’s another huge part of it. And to be honest, I think about what’s going to make me laugh and have fun that day, and then I just roll it.

Mary Wilson, Owner at Spa Royale:

Yeah. And you bring me a lot or two. I laugh. I giggle with you. I laugh because I’m just like, “Oh my God. I just want to bottle your energy up because it’s so good.” You know what I mean? It’s just so good, and it’s so genuine, and it’s just… They say that attitudes are contagious and I believe that 100%. And if you guys look at this, I have this slide. It says, “Choices. You are not born a winner. You are not born a loser. You are born a chooser.” Right?

Tyrone Eugene Davis:

Wow.

Mary Wilson, Owner at Spa Royale:

Is that true?

Tyrone Eugene Davis:

Correct, because you have the choice to do anything and everything like-

Mary Wilson, Owner at Spa Royale:

Anything and everything. And I think next week, we’re going to talk about boundaries because I think that… Yeah, because I think that when you’re not feeling so good and when things are off a little bit, I think that you don’t have healthy boundaries set for yourself and for others. So that’s where we can get a little, oh, it can get a little muddy and-

Tyrone Eugene Davis:

Sticky.

Mary Wilson, Owner at Spa Royale:

Yeah. In order to be super clear, you have to have those boundaries and you have to really learn to fall in love with yourself. He said that to me earlier, you guys, and I was just like, “Oh my gosh. Be still in my heart,” because it’s so true. I don’t think that most of us walk around on this earth in love with ourselves. We’re in love with the idea of what it looks like for somebody else, but we don’t do it for ourselves. So you guys, it all comes down to choices. Your attitude plus your choices equals your life. So that’s what I want to leave you guys with today. I think that just really being mindful, becoming ridiculously aware, living consciously, and really getting quiet and listening to the desire that you have in your heart and fulfilling it, and doing one little thing every day. I mean, I don’t know about you, but I started with one thing every single day that I’ve committed to. Just one. I mean, it could be drinking eight ounce glass of water every single day. It can be anything you want it to be. But if you commit to that one thing every single day, then as time goes by, it becomes a habit and it’s a good one. Right? So what would you… I mean, do you have any last words that you would like to share with our audience and-

Tyrone Eugene Davis:

I think people have to realize it’s not too late to live your best life, and I think people have to realize you’re qualified, even the person who… You may not have a lot of money. You may not have a lot of these material things. You’re still qualified to live your best life. You could do anything you want to do. I don’t care if you’re 50, 60, 13, black, white, gay, straight. If you see something and you can write it down and see it on a piece of paper, do it. And there’s no rules. Just do it.

Mary Wilson, Owner at Spa Royale:

No rules. Just do it. Just do it. No rules, I like that. I like that. I love that because there really are no rules. We were not born with a set of rules. There was no handbook. I never got one. Did you?

Tyrone Eugene Davis:

No.

Mary Wilson, Owner at Spa Royale:

Yeah, no. Not in this lifetime anyway. But anyway, so thank you everyone for being here. Thank you, Eugene, for coming on the podcast today. It’s been so fun. I’m sure we’ll do it again. I totally vibe with him. I love what he’s doing. I love how he’s taken charge of his life, and it just feels so good for me to watch somebody works so hard and just living it. It’s awesome. So thank you for joining us.

Tyrone Eugene Davis:

Bye.

Mary Wilson, Owner at Spa Royale:

Don’t forget to follow us. Subscribe on iTunes, on YouTube, The Spa Queen… Wait, what is the name of my podcast?

Tyrone Eugene Davis:

They know.

Mary Wilson, Owner at Spa Royale:

Spa Queen Unleashed, you guys. I do know. So we will see you. Thank you, Fiesta Media Studios for the production. We will see you next Wednesday at noon. Thank you so much. Have a great day, everyone.

Tyrone Eugene Davis:

Bye, guys.

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